How to Have an Ecstatic Birth – Anonymously

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Preparing for an Orgasmic Birth

When I was pregnant with my third child, a planned homebirth, I was actively seeking out positive birth stories. You would find me on the internet each night googling phrases like ‘pain-free birth’, ‘empowering birth’, ‘natural drug-free birth’ . I knew how important it was to surround myself with inspiring birth stories that lifted my spirits.

It was during one of these late night Google love-ins that I came across an article about an Orgasmic Birth. Umm… I’m sorry, a what? A little more research and I quickly found myself on the amazing Orgasmic Birth website founded by inspirational international childbirth advocate, Debra Pascali-Bonaro. After devouring the insights and birth stories I found there, I decided I had a new request to add to existing birth plan. I wanted an orgasmic birth. Oh yeah, baby!

How to Have an Orgasmic Birth

Now wanting to experience an orgasm in birth might sound totally kooky. I mean, we live in a culture where birth is depicted to only ever be excruciating, and birthing mamas are screaming out-of-control messes. And I had previously been through a tough birth – I was induced with my first child and, believe me, that experience was definitely less than orgasmic. But I also believe in the power of women’s bodies to birth their babies beautifully, especially with the right support, in the right environment. And I had experienced a pain-free natural birth with my second child so having a pleasurable orgasmic birth seemed like the next natural step. I was willing to give it a red hot go.

Orgasmic Birth Stories

I began seeking out other orgasmic birth stories and immersing myself in only positive birth vibes.  I explored the work of Dr Sarah Buckley and the connection between oxytocin – the hormone of love – and the natural flow of labour, allowing birth to unfold without disturbance. I began to understand the power of connection between a birthing mother and her lover, and was mesmerized by stories of couples who used nipple stimulation, passionate kisses, hugs and laughter to birth with pleasure. Of women who touched, stroked and stimulated their vaginas during labour, helping them to feel connected, stay in their bodies, and bring their feminine energy to their births.

My Orgasmic Birth Story

And then it was my turn. This birth was intense. Fast, strong, regular surges were soon established. When my baby decided to initiate labour, she meant business.  After a walk around the block to breath through my initial twinges, I soon needed my man beside me, supporting me through contractions. I was labouring in our bedroom, leaning over the bedside table and I needed him right behind me, pushing down hard on my hips and lower back, as I pushed back during contractions. The counter-balance of his strength on my hips and the force of my surges made me feel connected and protected. At one point when he went to open the front door as the midwives arrived, I lost my cool. I couldn’t do it without him, he HAD to stay right beside me. I needed his masculine energy. I needed the circle the two of us were creating.

Orgasm During Birth

And there in our bedroom, in that intimate setting with just my lover and I (our midwives gifted us privacy by waiting and listening from outside of the open door), I could feel an energy building in my body. My surges started to get really intense and I distinctly remember thinking ‘Woah, this is right on the edge now. It is either about to get really painful, or I can dig deeper’. So I dug deeper. I connected in with my baby, I used the energy from my lover’s hands, and I breathed down low into my womb. My sounds started to change, my moans became less guttural and primal, and more pleasurable and ecstatic.

FOR THE NEXT 2-3 CONTRACTIONS, EVERY FIBRE OF MY BODY WAS TINGLING, THE WAVES FELT ALL BUBBLY AS THEY RIPPLED THROUGH MY BODY. I WAS ON A TOTAL SENSUAL HIGH. MY WOMB WAS BUZZING. IT WAS DIFFERENT TO A SEXUAL ORGASM, IT WAS MUCH MORE OF A SENSUAL EXPERIENCE. A FEMININE, AROUSING, DELICIOUS ORGASMIC BIRTH.

And just 2.5 hours after the first contraction, our daughter was born in ecstasy into her father’s arms (you can read my full birth story homebirth: My Rockstar Orgasmic Birth or listen to it on this episode of The Birth Hour).

And if I can do it, Mama, so can you. Stay open to welcoming pleasure into your birth. Understand the importance of privacy and intimacy and connection. And trust that your body and your baby know what to do.

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